You can’t visit your parents till you visit mine. You can’t
go for your sister’s marriage because we have some guests coming over for
dinner at in-laws place. You cannot go here, you cannot go there…sounds
familiar. Isn’t it? It’s something my best friend has been hearing for the past
3 years of her love(less) marriage from hubby. Even though they stay separate
from in-laws (despite being in the same city), the couple keeps visiting his
parents often…more than often…all weekends are spent at his place, all
festivals are celebrated at his place, all holidays are spent at his place. And
when she wants to visit her parents (who also live just one-and-a-half-hour
drive away from their place), it’s a complete no-no. He either doesn’t have time
else he doesn’t think it’s that important. The she thinks marriage is almost
over. Few months back he hit her in anger. Last week he started abusing her in
front of his mother. “I don’t respect him anymore,” she says, “so what is left
in this union?”
True. Very true. It’s not just about being married and
staying together. I truly voice my friend’s feelings. When there’s no love, no
mutual respect, no mutual understanding, what’s left between the two people to
stay together? Just for sex? I don’t think so….one can get it anywhere. The
most important thing in a marriage is to value each other, understand each
other, cover each other’s flaws in front of others and talk them out later. But
when that’s not happening, it’s best to move on in life. A personal hurt not
only affects professional or social life but also one’s future. Why waste it
for a relationship which has been dented so hard that there are no repairs
possible. And marriage, which is such a sacred union gets ruined in the process...and worse if there are children involved.
With children, it gets difficult for ladies to decide their future, coz they cant leave their little ones behind, can't move ahead coz many are not independent. So it's the poor women who bear the brunt of all the worst that comes in their way.
The reason why so many marriages are breaking these days is because the women have gone more educated and independent which men are uncomfortable with. No matter how educated a man and his family are, they resent the idea of his wife or girlfriend working n earning more than him.
And i know women, who are working, educated and independent but are still caught in the crossroads because they fear the soceity which unfortunately in our country is obsolete, and toothless but sadly we all abide by its rules and laws.
No marriage counsellor can help can unless the couples help themselves coz i feel being a loveless marriage is worse than death.
2 Comment(s)
We can't live together